Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
