wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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