just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
