She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
