Got a toothbrush?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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