In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
