Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?

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(206): View more from Washington

I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole

(425): View more from Washington

There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian

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(313): View more from Michigan

he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7

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(949): View more from California

My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.

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(817): View more from Texas

I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?

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(317): View more from Indiana

Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?

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