and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
