Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize