she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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