I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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