why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
