We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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