I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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