I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize