I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
this just has baby written all over it
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
