i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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