I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
