Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
