Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
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