I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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