i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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