i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
