Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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