Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dear god my vagina.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
