yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
