i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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