is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
