please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I need a beard to bite.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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