I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
