I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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