You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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