I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
