dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
