Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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