I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
