yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
