omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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