He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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