return my video game
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
