Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
