It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Randomize