I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
