is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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