I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
