somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
