I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
