you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize