the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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