dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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