she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We are two peas in an std pod
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
