This dress was meant to end up on your floor
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
