rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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