oh god the rape fog is back!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
birth control should be required to get into college
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
