I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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