I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
