There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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