there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize