He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sorry about my life...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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