We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
