I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
