It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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