dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
