im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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