I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
